The diagram describes the production of canned fruits. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram describes the production of canned fruits. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The diagram illustrates the process of fruit cans production. It is conspicuous that the whole manufacturing process consists of fourteen distinct stages, from picking the
fruits
to selling the end products in the supermarket. Before making canned
fruits
, there are some previous preparations.
At the first stage
of production, those
fruits
need to be picked from the trees.
Next,
all of them are transported to factories, where the good ones can be selected, weighed and washed,
then
kept refrigerated, which makes them easy to be peeled. The following procedures begin with cutting the peeled ones into pieces. Those pieces are put into some liquid,
such
as water, juice, syrup, etc., and
then
sealed equally into each can. At the eleventh stage of production, all cans need to be cooked under heat for sterilizing. After cooling down and being packed well, the finished canned
fruits
can
finally
be on store shelves in the supermarket.
Submitted by Evalynn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words fruits with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: