IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people claim that there are more disadvantages of the car than its advantages .do yoou agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that the main purpose of utilizing
automobiles
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 is debatable.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
automobiles
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 have several disadvantages. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the demerits of using
cars
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 in transportation outweigh its merits.
This
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 essay will shed light upon why I believe
this
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. On one hand, utilizing
automobiles
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 may put a negative impact on the
environment
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.
For example
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, with the overpopulation that we
percieve
Correct your spelling
perceive
 in
this
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 contemporary life, using
cars
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 may cause air
pollution
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 which may lead to several deadly impacts
such
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 as global warming.
Therefore
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, people may need to use public transportation in order to reduce the significant effects of car
pollution
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 on the
environment
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.
Hence
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, it becomes apparent that utilizing
cars
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 can substantially impact the
environment
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.
Moreover
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, consuming
automobiles
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 can lead to several risky
diseases
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. To illustrate, air
pollution
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 caused by
cars
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 can lead to critical
diseases
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such
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 as lung disease and cancer.
In other words
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, a prestigious journal article published that 30% of masses had been affected by lung cancer
as a result
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 of air
pollution
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.
Therefore
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, using railways can be a better substitution for
cars
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, people need to contemplate deeply about their own health. Indeed,
this
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 makes it clear that using
automobiles
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 can cause certain significant
diseases
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. In conclusion, in my opinion, I consider that consuming
automobiles
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 may substantially affect folks' life as it may cause deadly
diseases
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Add the comma(s)
, as well as it,
show examples
as well as
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 it can severely affect the surrounding
environment
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.
Therefore
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, the government may need to fund railways as spending money on railways may help the
environment
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 because they do not affect the
environment
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 much.

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