IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people claim that there are more disadvantages of the car than its advantages .do yoou agree or disagree?

#people #car #yoou
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There is no denying the fact that the main purpose of utilizing
automobiles
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 is debatable.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
automobiles
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 have several disadvantages. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the demerits of using
cars
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 in transportation outweigh its merits.
This
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 essay will shed light upon why I believe
this
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. On one hand, utilizing
automobiles
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 may put a negative impact on the
environment
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.
For example
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, with the overpopulation that we
percieve
Correct your spelling
perceive
 in
this
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 contemporary life, using
cars
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 may cause air
pollution
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 which may lead to several deadly impacts
such
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 as global warming.
Therefore
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, people may need to use public transportation in order to reduce the significant effects of car
pollution
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 on the
environment
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.
Hence
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, it becomes apparent that utilizing
cars
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 can substantially impact the
environment
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.
Moreover
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, consuming
automobiles
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 can lead to several risky
diseases
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. To illustrate, air
pollution
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 caused by
cars
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 can lead to critical
diseases
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such
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 as lung disease and cancer.
In other words
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, a prestigious journal article published that 30% of masses had been affected by lung cancer
as a result
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 of air
pollution
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.
Therefore
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, using railways can be a better substitution for
cars
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, people need to contemplate deeply about their own health. Indeed,
this
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 makes it clear that using
automobiles
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 can cause certain significant
diseases
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. In conclusion, in my opinion, I consider that consuming
automobiles
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 may substantially affect folks' life as it may cause deadly
diseases
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Add the comma(s)
, as well as it,
show examples
as well as
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 it can severely affect the surrounding
environment
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.
Therefore
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, the government may need to fund railways as spending money on railways may help the
environment
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 because they do not affect the
environment
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 much.
Submitted by mgumssan on

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