IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
Nowadays , many people conceive that looking home like life property is more
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 than renting
one
 that
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 for short-term living . From my point of view , it is not really an accurate viewpoint
Firstly
 , for useful aspects of owning an accommodation , which is the best choice for
resident
Add an article
a resident
the resident
show examples
 who makes a decision to live there for longer and wants to enjoy private space . Because of conveniences and comforts , it is suitable for citizens
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not have tendencies
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 narrow places that always happen over-crowded people .
Moreover
 , when
owner
Add an article
the owner
an owner
show examples
 has a building for themselves , there are many chances to change and upgrade comfortable infrastructure and facility
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, a home will become commercial functions like
one
 of the important properties ,… Despite the fact that there are many extreme reasons why having a home can bring benefits for
owner
Add an article
the owner
show examples
 .
However
 , it is impossible to assume that view is more significant than renting
one
 . Personally , many residents tend not to buy a building because they want to save money for something which is more important like
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
livings
Fix the agreement mistake
living
show examples
 or present and future investments,
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, people believe that when short-time living could help them alter easily
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 in which they enjoy a better environment .
For instance
 , my family have rented and lived in a large house in my hometown for over a decade . Up to now , I have never complained
anything
Change preposition
about anything
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
 life because
that is
such
 a good place that I really love and want to
together
Add a missing verb
be together
show examples
 . Both having and renting
one
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 lots of positive faces for
Add an article
the user
a user
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
, so
let
Add a missing verb
let's
show examples
 think throughout before
decide
Change the verb form
deciding
show examples
anything
that is
 useful for self
Submitted by honglethiminh1975 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: