IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax #support #arguments #evidence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the large number of
people
Use synonyms
 in some countries who got an effect on their health
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, which is
due to
Linking Words
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 is more increase.
Then
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that imposing a
tax
Use synonyms
, by the state, on
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 will be the way that can solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 argument, and my reasons will be explained in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it might seem reasonable for some argue that to getting more citizen
tax
Use synonyms
 from buying
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is the solution to solving
this
Linking Words
 issue.
This
Linking Words
 is probably because they believe that when the
tax
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 is rising up,
then
Linking Words
 it can make
people
Use synonyms
 choose another kind of
food
Use synonyms
 to save money
instead
Linking Words
 of paying more money on buying fast
food
Use synonyms
 which is unhealthy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 that do not have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money to the effort, will not decide to buy
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because there are many factors that make
people
Use synonyms
 decide to choose their own meals.
For example
Linking Words
, rich
people
Use synonyms
, do not even care about the cost so if they like to eat and it is affordable for them,
then
Linking Words
 it can do nothing for them and
due to
Linking Words
 today's
people
Use synonyms
 who have a modern lifestyle, they do not have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of time to wait ,so they prefer the fast
food
Use synonyms
 rather than other kinds of foods.
According to
Linking Words
 the example, I personally believe that imposing the
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
tax
Use synonyms
 could not help
people
Use synonyms
 from suffering from health problems. It should be the government's role to tackle the situation and educate
people
Use synonyms
 to understand the effect of eating too much fast
food
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, provide some advertisements to educate their citizens about the disadvantages
due to
Linking Words
 eat a
lot
Use synonyms
 of waste
food
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it is undeniable that increasing the
tax
Use synonyms
 on fast
food
Use synonyms
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 from the health
problem
Use synonyms
, which is caused by
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
, which is greatly beneficial for the issue.
However
Linking Words
, in my ,opinion I think it is not the only way they can resolve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
's reasons that have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of factors that made them decide to choose their own foods.
Submitted by prakaidaw2547 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overconsumption
  • diet-related illnesses
  • healthcare system
  • disincentive
  • public health
  • safeguard
  • economic burden
  • lower-income populations
  • public education campaigns
  • food labeling
  • health implications
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • nutrition education
  • punitive measures
  • inequity
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • productivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: