IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer ‎weekend. Do you agree or disagree?‎

Some argue that workers should have extended weekends and work fewer ‎
days
Use synonyms
 during the week.
While
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this
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 might have some negative impacts on the ‎economy, in my view, the positive aspects outweigh the negative ones. ‎ Declining working
days
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 may result in
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
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 burden, both on workers and ‎society. By doing so, individuals, particularly breadwinners, would earn less ‎money, leading to difficulties in providing welfare for their families. Societal ‎issues, including a reduction in economic
growth
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, might occur
due to
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 ‎reduced working
days
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, as the workforce and working hours are vital factors ‎in the economy.
Consequently
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, the governmental budget allocated for public ‎services
such
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 as education and infrastructure might be damaged, leading to ‎more serious socio-economic problems
such
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 as inflation. Small businesses ‎
also
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 may go bankrupt, as they cannot earn enough if working
days
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 ‎decrease, and there might be a risk of laying off, threatening workers' jobs.‎
On the other hand
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, expanding weekends
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
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 not only personal ‎advantages but
also
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 societal merits.
This
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 enables parents to spend more ‎quality time with their family and loved ones, strengthening family bonding ‎and leading to providing a better atmosphere for raising their children, so ‎children can thrive better.
Although
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 having more working hours may be ‎essential for economic
growth
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, having longer weekends boosts productivity ‎in the workforce and provides more cooperative workplaces, leading to ‎financial
growth
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.
Furthermore
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, I believe the mental health of society ‎correlates strongly with the satisfaction of individuals with their jobs, which ‎can be enhanced by allocating more
days
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 off to people, particularly in the ‎long term. ‎ In conclusion,
although
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 shrinking the working week may cause some ‎issues, I believe its merits are more than the demerits, leading to a more ‎productive society, leading to
growth
Use synonyms
 both personally and societally.‎

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planning
Make plan clear. Start with a short view sentence. Use one idea per paragraph and end with a short wrap up.
language
Use short, easy sentences. Break long lines into two where possible. Check for easy grammar.
content
Give more real and simple examples to back up the main ideas.
strength
The writer shows a clear view and keeps it in the essay.
strength
Good use of linking words to show opposite sides.
strength
There is a real structure: intro, body, and conclusion.
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