IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries, more and more parents begin to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school #trend
Instead
 of
dispact
Correct your spelling
dispatch
 them to the education facilities, many families
in particular
 countries start to teach their
children
 at home. For me,
this
trend
 is
disadvatageous
Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
 for
children
 because
parents
 cannot teach them lessons as the teachers do.
Besides
, with
this
trend
,
children
 are deprived
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 school
life
 and it would be
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 for their improvement. The first disadvantage of
this
trend
 is
parents
' inadequate teaching skills.
Although
 families have abilities to educate their
children
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some basic lessons, they cannot overcome
this
 situation in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term
show examples
.
For instance
,
children
 need experts to learn mathematics and science lessons,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
moms
Change noun form
mom's
moms'
show examples
 and
dads
Change noun form
dads'
dad's
show examples
 knowledge and teaching methods may be
unsufficient
Correct your spelling
insufficient
show examples
 in order to understand
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
In addition
,
parents
 may suffer in disciplining their boys and girls
due to
 emotional ties
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
Thus
,
this
trend
 presents considerable issues
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
pupil's
Change noun form
pupil
show examples
 development. The second disadvantage of
this
trend
 is
children
's deprivation from school
life
.
Children
 need to create some relationships and it is essential in order to thrive
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 social skills. Without a school
life
, they cannot be social and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 may get some psychological issues in the future.
Moreover
, they may gain kilos
due to
 their
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 activities at home.
Therefore
,
this
 development may be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
life
. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, causes and examples can be multiplied in
this
 case.
Although
 teaching at home presents some benefits for kids at the beginning, in my opinion, its drawbacks outweigh its benefits
due to
parents
' inferior traits of teaching and negative impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
's social skills.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: