although many people value, this space could be better used for other purposes to what extent do you agree of disagree with this?

#people #value #space #purposes

It is irrefutable that a lot of

people

absolutely love their

parks

;

however

, some

people

opine that the area occupied by

parks

can be utilized in a more beneficial way by building residential and commercial structures there. I agree with

this

view and in my opinion,

this

is the best way to utilize the land occupied by public

parks

Firstly

, building more residential spaces will give a chance to poor

people

to find affordable accommodation/

homes

. Property prices are pretty high in most

cities

around the world because of the scarcity of land. Converting

parks

into residential areas will free up more space where new buildings can be built. If more

homes

are built, prices will come down and

homes

will be more affordable to poor

people

Consequently

, they will not have to live in the unhygienic shanties that are common in highly congested

cities

like Mumbai. If

parks

are used for building commercial establishments, it is good for the economy too. Of course,

this

conversion is bad for the environment and air quality.

However

, considering the huge population that requires

homes

cities

this

is the price that we have to pay for making

homes

affordable and available to the masses. If poor

people

cannot find

homes

and are forced to live in slums, it is not good for them or the city as the slums could be breeding grounds for various infectious diseases and even crime.

To conclude

parks

are certainly a necessity; unfortunately, for the vast majority of space-starved

cities

in the developing world, they are a luxury. Since building

homes

is a more pressing need than improving air quality or offering relaxation, in my opinion,

parks

should be converted into residential or commercial areas.

Submitted by ned.khizar on Sat Mar 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People are divided as to whether children should move out on their own once they reach the age of adulthood, with some suggesting they should stay with their parents. While there are clear upsides to children continuing to live with their parents past 18, I am in favor of encouraging them to leave their parents’ house.
7.5
band
Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Over the past decade, monumental technological advancements have become the defining phenomenon on a global scale. Innovations led by scientists, particularly in the Internet and Technology (IT) sector, have given rise to transformative devices such as smartphones. The heightened accessibility of these devices has resulted in their widespread and extended use, a trend observed across various age groups, including children who often find themselves immersed in prolonged smartphone interactions.
<4
band
More and more people are shifting to cities from country side. Does this have advantages or disadvantage on environment?
Nowadays, the number of people prefer to move to live in the country increased for many different reaseons. In this essay I will write about this supject and the penfits and drawback of this stuation.
7
band
The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
The emergence of social media platforms, such as Facebook and Twitter, has brought about a profound transformation in interpersonal communication, challenging the traditional face-to-face interactions we once relied upon. I am firmly convinced that the benefits of this digital revolution far outweigh its drawbacks. While social media offers unparalleled convenience and connectivity, it is vital to acknowledge and address its potential downsides to strike a balanced approach to its usage.
7
band
The government should control the use of the internet in a country
In the modern era, the development of the internet is getting stronger and freer, and everyone can give and get the info or communicate with each other quickly, instant and real-time. Someone when suffering the network, it is like suffering the earth, they can go anywhere they want. However, one-place are not the same condition; there is a place full of peace or place that used for war. Because of that, it is crucial to restriction the cyberspace to protect and make everyone feeling safe when they hang around on the web then the ministry should take action to discipline the cyber management in the country. Nevertheless, with a condition like that, some people will not be controlled by using the internet because it will bother the freedom and limit their human rights. This essay will compare the reason the ministry to control or give flexibility to the usage of the network in a country.

although many people value, this space could be better used for other purposes to what extent do you agree of disagree with this?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more people are shifting to cities from country side. Does this have advantages or disadvantage on environment?

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The government should control the use of the internet in a country