Some people think that art is an essential subject at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #art #school #waste #time

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The above line graph illustrates the percentage of different

age

Use synonyms

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

people visited

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the cinema in the US between 2000 and 2011.

Overall

Linking Words

, there is a considerable rise in cinema attendance among all the

age

Use synonyms

groups during the given period.

However

Linking Words

, teenagers and young adults aged between 15 and 24 in the top

always

Rephrase

apply

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

adults 35 years and over showed less interest

to watch

Change preposition

in watching

show examples

movies. Looking at the

age

Use synonyms

group between 15 and 24, 15% of them visited the cinema in 2000, and

this

Linking Words

figure steadily rose to 32% in 2005,

Then

Linking Words

the figure fluctuated for the next 3 years and again increased to reach more than 50%. in 200 2011. The Children aged between 7 and 14 were 10% in 2000

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and steadily rose to 30% in 2001 with some fluctuation. People with

age

Use synonyms

25-35

also

Linking Words

show

the

Correct article usage

show examples

similar pattern compared to children. "

On the other hand

Linking Words

adults aged 35 or more always stay at the bottom of the graph,

started

Wrong verb form

starting

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

almost nil and progressively increased to just above 10% in 2011.

Submitted by nusairmsm on Sat Mar 04 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

177 words

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Some people think that art is an essential subject at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many Western countries, there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to the couples having no children.

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries raise fuel prices in order to deal successfully with problems pertaining to traffic and pollution. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution?

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to reduce the time that people spend travelling to work is to have large roads that go through the city centre. Others however, think that there are more effective ways to reduce the time people spend travelling to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.