In many countries small shops and towns centers are going out of business, because people tend to drive to the large out-of-town stores. This results in an increase in car use and it also means that people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores. Do you think advantages of such development outweigh its disadvantages?

Nowadays, a network of roads has been developed between towns.
Thus
, people are more inclined towards shopping in big cities which has a negative impact on businesses in small towns
as well as
increases the cost of purchased goods. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the following practice has more drawbacks in comparison to the benefits associated with the aforementioned trend.
To begin
, people going out of their vicinity to buy a product which is
also
available in their area is adding an extra financial burden on individuals. Unconsciously, they are spending more on travelling than the original price of goods.
For instance
, if they buy the same item from a store near their home, they will have to pay far less in terms of total expenditure.
Moreover
, the travelling time can be utilized for other recreational activities
such
as watching movies with a family or playing games to spend quality time with the family.
Furthermore
, local businesses are badly affected by
this
shift
due to
a limited number of customers.
On the other hand
, the bright side of the picture includes the availability of better quality and mental satisfaction. Undoubtedly, large towns have shopping malls with all the varieties present under one roof.
Therefore
, people feel comfortable buying the best available options.
For example
, in case of any issue with the product, they have to face the fatigue of driving all the way back in order to exchange or return the item.
To conclude
, by considering the rising cost and extra miles associated with shopping from large out-of-town stores, it is evident that the advantages like mental satisfaction and personal contentment become insignificant.
Hence
, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by mnoorzafar9001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you clearly address the prompt and express a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay displays a generally logical structure and progression, but the introduction and conclusion could be further developed to provide a stronger framework for the discussion. Additionally, work on providing clearer and more concise transitions between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!