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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is a basically welcome idea that most
youths
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 prefer physically engaging activities to sedentary pursuits. It has been speculated that there is a
decline
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 in young ones reading the papers or watching the
news
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 on television in several nations:
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 discourse seeks to accomplish the set primary objective of critically examining the reasons which account for the prevailing indifference of
youths
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 towards the culture of reading newspapers and watching
news
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 on TV
as well as
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 the possible remedies of tackling
such
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 anomaly. Fundamentally, one of the most identifiable causes of the
decline
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 in
youths
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' interest in traditional
news
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 is because of more accounts of tragic incidents being recorded in the
news
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.
For instance
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, there is a one out of four chance that daily
news
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 projected will contain good reports.
Instead
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, there are more reports of horrible incidents
such
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 as deaths, economic crises and so on which discourages little ones from having an interest in reading or watching it. A solution to
this
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 will be to have more interesting segments in the
news
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 like entertainment or educational resources to keep the little people interested and change their perspective towards the
news
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 of it only being depressing or boring.
Additionally
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, another major cause for
this
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decline
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 is because of the rise in social media engagement by
youths
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 rather than traditional
news
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.
For example
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, more than 60% of engagement traffic on social media platforms
such
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 as TikTok and Instagram is with the youth.
This
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 online engagement is so because of the fun content and elated feeling they get on these platforms. A resolution to
this
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 is that traditional
news
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-bodies should leverage the digital space to capture the attention of
youths
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 by uploading interesting yet informative content on their pages to keep the
youths
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 engaged and involved.
Finally
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, it can vividly be deduced that indeed a plethora of reasons is adducible to the
decline
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 of
youths
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 reading the papers or watching
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news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 on television in several nations;
however
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, there are
also
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 many remedies available in response to the urgent need to address these pressing anomalies among
youths
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.

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task achievement
Your essay presents well-supported main points and relevant examples. However, try to engage with counter-arguments and provide clearer logical progression between paragraphs for a more sophisticated response.
coherence cohesion
The overall logical structure of your essay is sound and easy to follow. To improve further, consider employing transitional phrases more frequently to connect ideas more fluidly.
introduction conclusion present
You introduced the topic effectively and provided a strong conclusion, wrapping up your arguments neatly.
supported main points
Your examples are relevant and provide concrete support to your points, particularly the mention of social media's appeal to young people.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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