Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today's modern world, one of the controversial issues among people is retirement. Some people claim that assigning an
age
like 65 years for retirement is not fair.They believe that not only some specific
jobs
are deserved an extra pension , but some careers
also
need to be retired at an earlier
age
. I strongly agree with
this
point for a number of reasons which are discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, in many societies, most people would be retired at the
age
of 65 years without considering their
jobs
or positions.
This
is clear that some
jobs
need to spend more time or energy and
also
, some careers play
Add an article
a
show examples
key
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
in human life.
For example
, during the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
pandemic many doctors and nurses worked hard and full-time a day without vaccination for public health.
In addition
, some employers have heavy responsibilities
such
as working in construction or fire alarms.
Secondly
, some
jobs
need to be activated and have full energy.
For example
, teaching in high schools or elementary schools needs to be updated and energetic.
Then
, individuals more than 55 years are not successful in their work. In my opinion, all careers need to be pension but some specific
jobs
not only should be considered for special benefits but
also
, but they
also
need to be retired at an earlier
age
such
as work in construction or a hospital. In conclusion,for the number of reasons mentioned above,I believe that government should be categorized the
age
for receiving retirement
age
and
also
should be considered specific benefits for some
jobs
.
Submitted by saraseifi2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: