Many people believe that family has greater influence in child life and development as compared to other factors such as friends, tv, music and so on? Do you agree or disagree with the content ?

It has been argued by many individuals that parents
put
Verb problem
have
show examples
a better effect on their young one's life and improvement than peers, music, television and many more. I partially agree with
this
given statement and
this
essay shall shed light upon my perspective in subsequent paragraphs
along with
a reasoned conclusion.
Firstly
, the prominent cause behind my agreement is that family might acquire in and out of life in a good way rather than other factors. In the past
time
, most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
their precious
time
with
guardian
Fix the agreement mistake
guardians
show examples
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at that
time
, they
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
other option
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might teach different types of things with
this
the population not only
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
knowledge regarding
forefather
Fix the agreement mistake
forefathers
show examples
history from their family members but
also
experienced things that make beneficial for them.
For example
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in Japan 65% of citizens have been
succeed
Replace the word
successful
show examples
owing to
they get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
information from parents Paradoxically, the fundamental ground behind my disagreement is that commoners could gain communication and social skills. In
this
contemporary era, the majority of humans
consume
Verb problem
spend
show examples
their
time
watching
t.v
Correct your spelling
TV
as it represents distinct telecasts
such
as daily news, movies and reality shows with the help of
this
people may know about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
what
Correct word choice
and what
show examples
is going on.
Moreover
, when people
use
Verb problem
spend
show examples
their
time
period with companions, they
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn how to talk with strangers and
also
other aspects that will
fruitful
Add a missing verb
be fruitful
show examples
for children.
To sum up
, music,
t.v
Correct your spelling
TV
and bosom friends
are
Verb problem
play
show examples
paying essential role in their childhood life and family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
give a lesson to their offspring about what is good or bad for them
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the given statement and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion that provide a summary of the main points and present a clear position on the topic.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: