IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that it is better for high school students to study a wide range of subjects than to focus on a narrow range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #students #study #range #subjects #focus
Never have the topics concerning education failed to attract the public's attention.
However
, when it comes to if it is a better choice to let pupils engage in various
subjects
, I disagree with
this
 opinion for the reason that
although
students
 will be open to more possibilities by learning diverse
courses
, it will exert some negative effects and the fixed scope of
subjects
 will be more suitable for
students
. It is undeniable that sometimes studying various
courses
 can be an essential part of a student’s development.
Initially
, pupils are more likely to find their specialised area among a wide range of
courses
. Lessons like music and art can provide
students
 with more opportunities to explore their real interests and talents.
This
 is particularly important for high school
students
 as most of them in
this
 stage are not fully aware of aptitude. Apart from that, non-academic
subjects
 can help them to become more well-rounded. Logical and abstract thinking can be greatly developed when he or she is practising math questions, and through the study of history, one learns about how societies and countries were formed and how past events shaped them.
By contrast
, those studying a narrow range of
subjects
 may miss access to new ideas and concepts in many areas.
However
, fixed types of
subjects
 are more feasible under the current education system,
while
 some unnecessary classes will exacerbate
students
’ burdens. Most high school
students
 are already confronted with excessive academic stress, without being given the added
courses
. Chances are that they will feel academically overwhelmed when they are compelled to have more classes;
for example
, force science
students
 to attend history classes.
Additionally
, those non-academic
courses
 will occupy the time that should have been allocated to study. Since their homework and exams are likely to remain the same but the available time for them to complete those tasks will decline, their academic life will be more intense. In conclusion, I am against the view that educating high school
students
 with a wide range of
subjects
 is better than from a narrow scope of
subjects
.
Submitted by Evalynn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded
  • interdisciplinary
  • curriculum
  • specialization
  • mastery
  • core curriculum
  • elective options
  • educational systems
  • extracurricular activities
  • job market trends
  • skill set
  • academic rigor
  • vocational skills
  • cognitive flexibility
  • career trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: