Some people suggest that sport champions should be banned from television, meanwhile the others say it is allowed. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #sport #champions #television

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It is argued that international

sport

Change the noun form

sports

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champions ought to be prohibited on TV since it consists of violence. I totally agree with

this

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statement because it can increase criminal cases and spend a lot of

money

Use synonyms

which

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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of them will be elaborated

Change preposition

on in

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the following paragraphs.

To begin

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with, TV programs provide sports related to violence to reduce stress

although

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it will improve criminal problems. The programs encourage the viewers to commit

similarly

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as they do since basically humans will commit something that they always watch.

For instance

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, children like to watch boxing,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

can influence them to apply at school and their friends will be a victim.

Moreover

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, Victims and perpetrators

also

Linking Words

have an impact on their mental health. The criminal will feel guilty and the victims will be afraid to do activities.

On the other hand

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, the docudrama has many fans and regularly is a top program.

Consequently

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, it will generate a lot of

money

Use synonyms

However

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, the officials spend more

money

Use synonyms

rather than collect it because they have to complete facilities to hold the event and

also

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provide a budget for accidental cases.

For instance

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, to create a karate competition, the committee should prepare several facilities

such

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as arenas, shields and referees

Change preposition

apply

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which it has to be allocated

money

Use synonyms

for unexpected incidents like broken and

wreck

Fix the agreement mistake

wrecks

show examples

. In conclusion, it is true that international sports events involving violence have to be banned in TV programs and I strongly believe that

this

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issue will enhance criminal cases and waste a lot of

money

Use synonyms

. As far as I am concerned,

this

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case will be a big problem in the future if it is not immediately forbidden.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Mar 05 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Role model
Inspire
Physical activity
Excellence
Entertainment
Deprive
High-level performance
Freedom of expression
Censorship
Precedent
Negative impact
Discernment
Parental guidance
Outright bans
Hero worship
Undue pressure
Unrealistic standards
Commodification
Profitability

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Some people suggest that sport champions should be banned from television, meanwhile the others say it is allowed. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In many countries, men and women are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that governments should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities (e.g. cost, environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's world, it is private companies rather than government who pay for and carry out most on scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on piblic trasport systemssuch as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?