Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
By developing in the garb industry,
fashion
become more important in human lives. Many young people
and adolescents believe that you must pay for fashion
and clothes. But elder people
and adults argue that paying for fashion
is kind of a waste of money
and they cost too much. In my opinion, nowadays fashion
items such
as clothes cost too much.
Adults believe that fashion
is temporary and in one or two years it will disappear and nobody will care about old fashion
. They said instead
of paying for fashion
you can buy affordable clothes and with additional money
, develop yourself, go on a vacation or do anything that helps you and makes your future brighter. some people
believe that because we are surrounded by fashion
advertisements and all these ads say that you are not enough, you are not pretty, so buy our products to become more pretty and more useful to your friends and family. so teenagers believe that kind of nonsense words and waste their money
in fashion
.
But on the other hand
, many young people
say that if you want to become acceptable to society you should pay for fashion
. They said we are happy spending money
on fashion
. We become more attractive to the opposite sex. All these are benefits more being fashion
. So when you are paying for fashion
items, actually you are paying for all the benefits which fashion
products have.
In conclusion, I believe fashion
items cost too much. You can use that money
in other ways which help you to become more successful and have a brighter future.Submitted by ramenosko on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded discussion of both views and gives your opinion, which is essential for task achievement. However, try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is quite good, but ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and focuses on a single idea. Some paragraphs contain mixed ideas, which can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, work on making your introduction more engaging and your conclusion more conclusive. Summarize the main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases. This will make your writing flow better and be easier to follow.
task achievement
You did a good job of discussing both views on the topic. This shows a balanced approach, which is important for achieving a higher score in task response.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion clearly states your opinion, which ties the essay together nicely. This is a good practice that helps in achieving higher marks for coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!