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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays older people often live in retirement homes with people of their own age instead of living with their children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #retirement #homes #age #children #development
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In current times, it is common for senior citizens to stay in nursing
homes
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 with their peers and not live with their offspring.
This
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 essay firmly states that
this
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 trend is beneficial. I believe that
care
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 establishments provide a healthy atmosphere for the elderly from both physiological and mental perspectives. Aged
parents
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 tend to feel depressed because most of them lose attention when they are living with their children. It is common to see that many adults are preoccupied with work and their own family affairs
while
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 pensioners are idle after
retirement
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 and require acknowledgement and
care
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 in order to avoid the feeling of loneliness. Living in
retirement
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homes
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 provides more opportunities for the elderly to interact with
people
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 who reach the same stage of life which increases their confidence
as well as
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 their well-being.
Furthermore
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,
although
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 old
people
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 tend to live longer in comparison to the past, they are vulnerable to a variety of chronic diseases
such
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 as Alzheimer’s disease and cancer.
People
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 with these health issues should receive extra
care
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 ,
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otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 there may be serious consequences if an accident happens.
However
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, adults usually need to work, resulting in their
parents
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 staying at home alone. In
this
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 case, sending elderly
parents
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 to
retirement
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homes
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 may be a better alternative as caregivers in these organizations have professional skills and tend to the elderly in a more ideal way.
To conclude
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,
people
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 in modern society need to manage a hectic schedule and fail to spend enough time and provide sufficient
care
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 for their
parents
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. Living in
retirement
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homes
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 seems to be a better choice for them as they can be cautiously treated by professionals and feel better when spending time with their friends.
Submitted by yoyoghurtxd on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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