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Band 6.5

Nowadays older people often live in retirement homes with people of their own age instead of living with their children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #retirement #homes #age #children #development
In current times, it is common for senior citizens to stay in nursing
homes
 with their peers and not live with their offspring.
This
 essay firmly states that
this
 trend is beneficial. I believe that
care
 establishments provide a healthy atmosphere for the elderly from both physiological and mental perspectives. Aged
parents
 tend to feel depressed because most of them lose attention when they are living with their children. It is common to see that many adults are preoccupied with work and their own family affairs
while
 pensioners are idle after
retirement
 and require acknowledgement and
care
 in order to avoid the feeling of loneliness. Living in
retirement
homes
 provides more opportunities for the elderly to interact with
people
 who reach the same stage of life which increases their confidence
as well as
 their well-being.
Furthermore
,
although
 old
people
 tend to live longer in comparison to the past, they are vulnerable to a variety of chronic diseases
such
 as Alzheimer’s disease and cancer.
People
 with these health issues should receive extra
care
 ,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 there may be serious consequences if an accident happens.
However
, adults usually need to work, resulting in their
parents
 staying at home alone. In
this
 case, sending elderly
parents
 to
retirement
homes
 may be a better alternative as caregivers in these organizations have professional skills and tend to the elderly in a more ideal way.
To conclude
,
people
 in modern society need to manage a hectic schedule and fail to spend enough time and provide sufficient
care
 for their
parents
. Living in
retirement
homes
 seems to be a better choice for them as they can be cautiously treated by professionals and feel better when spending time with their friends.
Submitted by yoyoghurtxd on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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