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Band 7

Teenagers are spending too much time on computers and this will lead to a severe problem in their mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#teenagers #time #computers #health
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Parents often worry about the negative effect of
computer
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 use on their teenage children because they spend too much of their leisure
time
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 on PCs, laptops and tablets. I share their concerns because the current generation of adolescents is more exposed to technology than ever before. Spending too much
time
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 on smart machines can be harmful to teenagers’ mental health.
Although
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computers
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 do offer practical benefits
such
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 as study materials and e-books, they lack the motivation to utilize these virtues.
Instead
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, they spend most of their
computer
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time
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 watching movies and dramas, chatting or playing games.
While
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 these aspects of using
computers
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 may not seem to be harmful to teenagers in the short term, the genuine problem occurs when they stop doing their homework or alternative hobbies
such
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 as outdoor activities. In
this
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 case, they might feel bored when doing anything away from the
computer
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, and their general motivation and cognitive development could be slowed by brain fog focusing on virtual activities. Physical health is negatively affected if they devote most of their attention to
computers
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as well as
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 mental health. Young people usually lead a sedentary life or lie down for a long
time
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while
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 using these devices. Correspondingly, they are at a higher risk to become unfit and obese unless they get up and do physical exercise on a regular basis.
Furthermore
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, those who are addicted to playing
computer
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 games and chatting programmes are increasing, and
this
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 leads to a lack of sleep
as a consequence
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 of late-night use.
In addition
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, the repetitive actions involved in using
computers
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 can cause repetitive strain injuries to their fingers and wrists
as well as
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 dry eyes. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I totally agree that we should aim to limit the amount of
time
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 teenagers spend on
computers
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.
Submitted by toybox29 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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