The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph illustrates data about the number of people who were born and died in Switzerland, over a fifty-year period between 1970 and 2020

according to

Linking Words

the United Nation statistic. Units are measured by millions. As can be seen from the bar chart, as time passed there was a significant rise in births,

on the other hand

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, deaths just had an increase in the first half period. The figure for birth in 1970 was 1.2

million

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and

this

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number remained unchanged until 1980. After 10 years the rate of birth increased by 0.5 from 1.2 to 1.7

million

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. after which, the former rose significantly to 2.7

million

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in 2000, followed by the statistic that started to grow gradually in 2010 and 2020 to 3 and 3.2

million

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, respectively.

On the other hand

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, the rate of the death toll climbed just for three decades from 1970 which was 1

million

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to 1990 which was 1.5

million

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. After that, the rates decline gradually from onward, from 1.5

million

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reaching 0.8

million

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, in 2020.

Submitted by sevda.bm on Sun Mar 05 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

171 words

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The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1970 to 2020 according to United Nations statistics. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

An increasing number of people are choosing cosmetic surgery/ plastic surgery. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that technologies have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?