Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situation. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.
In our having a brilliant
world
Add a comma
,world
people
encounter with
many problems and concerns and Change preposition
apply
as a result
Add a comma
,
job
and also
job
satisfaction can help them. many people
spend their live
with a simple Replace the word
lives
job
, in ,contrast many of them try to find a better position. in my ,opinion if we try to earn a better job
and have enough patience, it's better for our future. some people
who search for a job
accept positions which aren't satisfactory. First of all
they fear Add a comma
,all
of
unemployment because Change preposition
apply
jobless
is too difficult Add a missing verb
being jobless
in
these days and Change preposition
apply
also
they cannot make money for their family . they cannot buy anything that they need and love, so it issue makes them isolated from society and their family. ,moreover
unemployment causes you cannot pay for your family and face constant problems Add a comma
,moreover
as a result
you have discussions with your family and get worse with them so it
leads to separation, getting divorced and a disappointing time. in ,Correct pronoun usage
which
addition
some items are more important for them. they prefer to have better working hours and workplace comfort plus silence Replace the word
add
of
the workplace than Change preposition
in
high
salary. on the other ,hand many Add an article
a high
people
have this
belief that they should try and find a better situation. they argue that having a standard life
is related to a great position because you can earn enough money. unfortunately in my country inflation increases and goods prices go up more and more so we have a high salary job
you can have a better life
. ,moreover
they like to have a Add a comma
,moreover
job
that interests them. inner satisfaction is very crucial for them. shortage of money or not interest in a job
avoid them from self-confidence and peace of mind and close them to depression. in ,addition
some Replace the word
add
people
search for a permanent job
. in their opinion
a permanent Add a comma
,opinion
job
has more benefits than a temporary job
. don't need to change your job
or in terms of insurance you haven't any problems and also
you have a security
Replace the word
secure
job
. so you
they can plan long-term for their Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
. to sum up
however
there is fear of jobless and conflict with family and children I personally believe that having a great life
and inner satisfaction and also
a permanent job
have
worth it to try and find a better situation.Change the verb form
has
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite