the percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

#percentage #children #societies #ten #years #effects #trend #offer

Nowadays in Europe and USA, the rate of overweight

children

has risen by around 20% which shows that changes in western societies have some negative effects on people. The situation should be reversed for the sake of society, and to have a happier and healthier society. There might be several reasons for

this

increase

such

as dietary trends, physical inactivity and habits. It can be said that compared to previous years, the lifestyles of

children

have become sedentary because of technological improvements. Recently, most of them prefer to meet their friends via the internet by playing online games which makes them unwilling to go out and play physical games. Since many

children

prefer

this

way of entertainment, it has become their habit.

Additionally

due to

the increased number of fast food restaurants and improvements in online food delivery systems, the tendency to eat unhealthy nutrition has augmented as well.

As a result

of these changes and the increased number of obese

children

, possible health and psychological problems may arise in the near future. Being overweight can cause diabetes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since the rate of carbohydrates in the body goes up.

Moreover

, sleep apnea, which may end up with some fatal conclusions during sleep, is another effect of obesity.

Besides

health issues, psychological problems like, having low self-esteem because of appearance and being exposed to

Add an article

the

show examples

exclusion by friends. To decrease the rate of overweight

children

, schools may initiate activities that attract

children

to play outside games.

Also

, the number of physical education lessons can be increased or competitions can be organized. Since the prize stimulates the

children

, they will be eager to attend

such

kind of activities.

Furthermore

, parents may influence their

children

to eat healthy foods by arranging some family meal preparation activities.

To conclude

, since obesity will create some crucial issues for people in the future, the daily habits of

children

, which are the main cause of the problem, should be changed. For me, parents and schools play an important role in changing

this

situation.

Submitted by reyyanbanu on Sun Mar 05 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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the percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today, the high sales of popular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, people used to travel aboard to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems,as well as practical problems. to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than Roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending thier kids to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?