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Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people relying on private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problem overreliances on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution

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Introduction
Many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer private vehicles over public transport as their mode of travel.
This
Linking Words
 causes some serious issues,
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, etc,
however
Linking Words
, it should be controlled by promoting the use of shared transport.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the disadvantages and solutions to combat the situation.
Body paragraph 1
To commence with, dependence on a private source of transportation may cost
people
Use synonyms
 health and money. First of all, it reduces walking and,
therefore
Linking Words
, increases body weight which causes heart problems, obesity, high level of cholesterol, etc. On other hand, using a personal vehicle may consume more petrol than shared transport,
thus
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, costing higher.
For example
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,
last
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 year, my paternal uncle got a heart attack and his cholesterol level crossed the borderline, after his recovery, his doctor suggested
him
Correct pronoun usage
he
show examples
 come out of his comfort zone; walk, especially, to a bus station and travel by public bus.
Body paragraph 2
These problems can be outweighed by proper action taken by the state government. Public transportation should be improved, so that, locals can easily use it. As many
people
Use synonyms
 at a single time are sharing petrol and walking to a station to catch a bus,
hence
Linking Words
, shared buses would not only save them money but,
also
Linking Words
, improve their health.
For instance
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, research was made on the
people
Use synonyms
 of America, which concludes that the major reason why Americans live a healthy and long life mainly depends on their use of local trains and buses.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, a complete dependency on personal cars would not only make a man physically inactive but,
also
Linking Words
, consume more fuel. Proper action should be taken by the state rulers to help their citizens to come out of
this
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. In
this
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 regard, cosy and hassle-free buses may help.

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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