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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both the advantages of each method and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #home #child’s #development #school #method
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Many people believe that utilizing homeschooling is the best choice for
children
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’s development
while
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 some argue the importance for
children
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 to go to public education. Both perspectives present compelling rationales, yet in my opinion, attending
school
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 is good for fostering socializing for offspring and holistic development. On one hand, proponents of homeschooling provide advantages in freedom and flexibility for
parents
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 and
students
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.
Firstly
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, the
parents
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 can choose the suitable material and method
according to
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 the
children
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's needs.
For instance
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, books and learning media must be based on individual necessity.
Besides
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 that, both the teacher and the
students
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 could decide their preferred time
whereas
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 in public schools, the
students
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 must follow the academy regulation of time.
Secondly
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, homeschooling allows
parents
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 to have more control over their
children
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.
This
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 activity is conducted in the house
hence
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 the
parents
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 can see their
children
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's behaviour when they are studying.
On the other hand
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, there are some benefits the
children
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 can have if they study in public
school
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. First of all, public schools can foster socializing for
children
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. They are exposed to meet their friends from various backgrounds both socio and cultural. In the institution, there are so many
students
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 from different backgrounds so it will make them to be more open-minded and more flexible to face diversity. The next rationale is the
school
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 has a wide range of extracurricular activities
are
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apply
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supported by the facilities provided by the government. All of these activities will equip the
students
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 with indispensable life skills. In my opinion, the traditional
school
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 system emphasizes socialization
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apply
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pivotal
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children’s
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to children’s
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 development. Immersion in various cultures, perspectives and experiences will reinforce empathy and cooperation for the student’s growth. In conclusion, despite all the benefits of homeschooling, I firmly concur that comprehensive study in public
school
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 will enrich the youngsters’ horizons and adaptability in cultivating essential life skills.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that you expand on your ideas with a diverse range of specific examples and evidence to support your arguments more thoroughly. This can be achieved by referencing studies, statistics or adding anecdotal evidence to illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the Coherence and Cohesion of your essay, focus on creating a more seamless flow between paragraphs with the use of a wider variety of linking phrases and transitional expressions. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is consistently developed throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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