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Band 6

young people who commit crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. to what extend do you agree or dis agree?

#people #crimes #adults #authorities #dis
It has been argued by many individuals that the government have to give the same punishment
those
Change preposition
to those
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 do felony whether they are teenagers or senior people. I partially agree with
this
 given statement and
this
 essay shall shed light upon my perspective in subsequent paragraphs
along with
 a reasoned conclusion.
Firstly
, the prominent cause behind my agreement is that the crime rate would be reduced. In some parts of the
nation
Add a comma
,nation
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 higher authorities do not give punishment to younger offenders because of their age.
Consequently
, the offence is proliferating regularly in
those region
Change the determiner
that region
those regions
show examples
,
whereas
 in
this
 modern era, in countless cities the regime treats the same criminals without thinking about their age.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in Japan there is less delinquency as compared to other countries as they send to prison for 1 year and commit antisocial activities. Paradoxically, the fundamental ground behind my disagreement is that most young people perform crimes because of social media. In
this
 contemporary era, most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings do crimes owing to they follow in the footsteps of famous personalities. When eminent persons represent their lifestyle in front of the public through their accounts or profile on online platforms, it creates violence among teenagers and they break the laws. So, the council need to ban an account of those humans who spread negativity in society.
To sum up
,
although
 it declines crime, if the statutory bodies get action for young age commoners, it is not a big issue they must block the profile of stars.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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