children as a young as eight own a mobile phone . Nowadays the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

It was
asummed
Correct your spelling
assumed
summed
, that giving young people mobile
phones
can save their life
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
in emergency cases,
Howeve
Correct your spelling
However
it can damage
thire
Correct your spelling
their
eyes.
This
essat
Correct your spelling
essay
will
analysis
Replace the word
analyse
show examples
how
children
can be affected in a good way by electronic
phones
, and how it can be detrimental
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their habits. In many
instance
Change to a plural noun
instances
show examples
, babies can be saved by mobile
phones
.
For example
, if the kid has
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
and he lost, he can call his parents in
emergency
Add an article
an emergency
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
kidnapping.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, kids can
br
Correct your spelling
be
taught
Correct article usage
a veriety
show examples
veriety
Correct your spelling
variety
of skills by their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
.
For instance
, typing faster
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the keyboard,
cosequently
Correct your spelling
consequently
, they will get
usrd
Correct your spelling
used
to it in the future, and it
wil
Correct your spelling
will
be easier to use the computer,
Furtheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it may
helo
Correct your spelling
help
show examples
them
ti
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
search and be
knowladgeable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
at
youn
Correct your spelling
young
age. It seems that bad habits can be created by their
phones
.
For example
,
children
will spend more time on it,
as a result
, they will not have enough time to finish their homework, Phonescan
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
damage
eyes
Correct pronoun usage
their eyes
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
children
who spend
mire
Correct your spelling
more
show examples
timr
Correct your spelling
time
on it,
andbecome
Correct your spelling
and become
addicted. Iphones frequently show bad videos or images, boys can see them and
becomeaffected
Correct your spelling
become affected
by them because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
at
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
really young
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
they can not realise the wrongs. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
coclousion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I
Correct your spelling
believe
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
children
at young ages should not buy for
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
mobile
phones
, because, it has many drawbacks,Howeve
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
som
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
parents do not cair
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and provide their kids
phones
Change preposition
with phones
show examples
Submitted by aljazihalfarhan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: