IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in the use of banned
substances
Use synonyms
 among professional
athletes
Use synonyms
 aiming to enhance their performance.
This
Linking Words
 issue is driven by intense competitive
pressure
Use synonyms
 and a lack of adequate mental health
support
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, solutions
such
Linking Words
 as psychological assistance and strict penalties can help address
this
Linking Words
 growing concern. One of the primary causes of doping in sports is the immense
pressure
Use synonyms
athletes
Use synonyms
 face to succeed. Competing at a professional level is both physically and mentally exhausting, and
athletes
Use synonyms
 often train for years without guaranteed results. When performance falls short of expectations, some may turn to performance-enhancing drugs as a shortcut.
This
Linking Words
 is especially common among
athletes
Use synonyms
 from underprivileged backgrounds, who may experience additional
pressure
Use synonyms
 from their families and communities to succeed quickly. In
such
Linking Words
 cases, the fear of failure can push individuals toward unethical choices. Another contributing factor is the lack of emotional and psychological
support
Use synonyms
. Many
athletes
Use synonyms
 suffer silently under the weight of expectations without anyone to help them manage stress, anxiety, or burnout. Without proper guidance, they may believe that using banned
substances
Use synonyms
 is the only way to remain competitive.
This
Linking Words
 highlights the urgent need for professional psychological
support
Use synonyms
 within athletic teams. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue, one important solution is to incorporate mental health professionals into an athlete’s
support
Use synonyms
 system. Psychologists can help
athletes
Use synonyms
 cope with stress and make healthier decisions under
pressure
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, sporting authorities must impose strict penalties on those who are caught using banned
substances
Use synonyms
. These sanctions serve as a deterrent for others and help uphold the integrity of professional sports. Regular testing and thorough investigations into how
such
Linking Words
substances
Use synonyms
 are obtained can
further
Linking Words
 prevent abuse.
For example
Linking Words
,
athletes
Use synonyms
 found guilty of doping in many international competitions are banned from participating for several years, which sends a clear message. In conclusion, the rise in doping among
athletes
Use synonyms
 is largely
due to
Linking Words
 competitive
pressure
Use synonyms
 and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of emotional
support
Use synonyms
. Providing access to mental health professionals and enforcing strict consequences are effective ways to combat
this
Linking Words
 issue and preserve fairness in professional sports.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure each point you make is clear and fully explained. This will help your ideas come across better.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use words like 'first,' 'next,' and 'finally' to guide the reader.
task achievement
You introduced the topic well and made your main points clear. Great job!
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were strong, which helps with the overall flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anti-doping regulations
  • Detection methods
  • Ban substances
  • Ethical issues
  • Health risks
  • Fair play
  • Sportsmanship
  • Stakes
  • Pressure to succeed
  • Enforcement
  • Awareness programs
  • Testing frequency
  • Entourage
  • Science advancement
  • Financial gains
What to do next:
Look at other essays: