IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that they should maintain all of the money they earn and should not pay taxes. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed by some that they should keep all of their income rather than pay
taxes
Use synonyms
. The writer,
however
Linking Words
, totally disagrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
 maintaining public amenities and boosting social welfare as education. It is crucial to acknowledge how important
taxes
Use synonyms
 are.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, authorities provide citizens with numerous demands
such
Linking Words
 as accommodations or employment that people necessitate to maintain an adequate.
This
Linking Words
 assistance comes from the
taxes
Use synonyms
 which are collected from some percentage of one’s income.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, provided that citizens do not pay
taxes
Use synonyms
, it will act as a deterrence for maintaining public facilities
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 hospitals or schools,
thus
Linking Words
 governments are unable to repair and update
this
Linking Words
 infrastructure, which will affect the lives of individuals in case of broken facilities as they cannot utilize those. Another point that should be taken into consideration is the improvement of the welfare state, especially in education. To be more specific, governments usually utilize
taxes
Use synonyms
 to subsidize education
such
Linking Words
 as free charge of school
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 since they are tools to solidify important knowledge
such
Linking Words
 as literacy and numeracy that are needed for their job prospects.
Consequently
Linking Words
, should people accept to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
, authorities will have more money to build new schools
as well as
Linking Words
 improve school facilities,
thus
Linking Words
 more people can get access to study to ensure gaining a job and earning money.
To conclude
Linking Words
, paying
taxes
Use synonyms
 should be a usual responsibility for dwellers owning to amenities maintaining and enhancing educational opportunities.
Hence
Linking Words
, the essay should have shown that it is essential for everyone to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by presenting a clear standpoint and supporting arguments. However, there are opportunities to further elaborate on your ideas and provide more specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are complex and could benefit from simplification for greater clarity. Aim for variety in sentence structure while maintaining readability.
task achievement
You have provided a clear opinion and supported it with relevant arguments, addressing both public amenities and education.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: