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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.
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The first chart shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of annual overseas
visitors
Use synonyms
 to Australia from 1975 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the Australia
show examples
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 visitor's
number
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 increased gradually, which was nearly 10
million
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 in 1975 and more than 30
million
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 in 2005. In 1995, the total of
visitors
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 was less than 25
million
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 and it doubled
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1975 numbers. Looking at the second line graph more closely, it shows the total of overseas
visitors
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 compared to 1975 and 2005. The overseas
nataions
Correct your spelling
nations
notations
 listed are South Korea, Japan, China, the USA, Britain, and Europe. The
number
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 of
visitors
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 inclined significantly, which was 8.8
million
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 in 1975 and 30.4
million
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 in 2005. In 1975, the total of Europe was 1.1
million
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 and it
quadrapled
Correct your spelling
quadrupled
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2005 whose
visitors
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 were 4.5
million
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. Japan was the most
visitors
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 in 1975 and 2005. It was 3.2
million
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 in 1975 and 12.0
million
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 in 2005. There is a slight change in China
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
number
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 of
visitor
Change to a plural noun
visitors
show examples
 was 0.3
million
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 in 1975 and inclined slightly to 0.8
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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