Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, electronic
devices
play a vital role in Use synonyms
children
’s life. Young Use synonyms
children
use mobile phones considerable Use synonyms
time
for a Use synonyms
day
. Distance learning methods and Change preposition
of day
availability
of Correct article usage
the availability
devices
are the main reason for the significant screen Use synonyms
time
. I believe that Use synonyms
drawbacks
of Correct article usage
the drawbacks
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
phone
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
usage
are higher than the benefits. Replace the word
users
This
essay will discuss the causes Linking Words
for
mobile Change preposition
of
phone
Use synonyms
usage
among Use synonyms
children
and Use synonyms
the
disadvantages of it.
Change the word
its
First
it is essential to note that, nowadays, distance education is popular throughout the world. Add a comma
,First
Therefore
Linking Words
children
are asked to use Use synonyms
different
mobile Add an article
the different
a different
application
to participate Fix the agreement mistake
applications
to
the lessons.Change preposition
in
Forexample
, Correct your spelling
For example
due to
covid 19 pandemic most Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
the
schools were closed Correct article usage
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
last
year and teachers used mobile applications like zoom and Skype to teach their students. Linking Words
As a
Linking Words
result
high Add a comma
,result
usage
of phones is started and Use synonyms
children
have to stick with electronic Use synonyms
devices
for Use synonyms
long
Change the article
a long
time
. Another significant reason is electronic Use synonyms
devices
are not luxurious anymore, so those are available Use synonyms
in
anywhere for affordable prices. Another vital consideration is Change preposition
apply
addiction
Add an article
an addiction
with
video games among peer groups. Change preposition
to
For instance
, Linking Words
children
spend more Use synonyms
time
on games Use synonyms
such
as PUBG and SKYRIDERS.Linking Words
Hence
it is notable that not only online learning but Linking Words
also
Linking Words
the
video games and Correct article usage
apply
availability
of Correct article usage
the availability
devices
are the reasons for young students’ long screen Use synonyms
time
.
Use synonyms
According to
my Linking Words
perspectives
, significant Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
phone
Use synonyms
usage
causes some health issues and sometimes Use synonyms
children
tend to buy unnecessary items Use synonyms
due to
intrusive advertisements which they see Linking Words
in
the Change preposition
on
phone
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, if Linking Words
children
reduce physical activities by sitting in front of the Use synonyms
phone
, they may Use synonyms
ended
up with serious health problems Change the verb form
end
such
as obesity and diabetes .Linking Words
In addition
to Linking Words
that
not Add a comma
,that
interaction
with society drives them to have psychological conditions .All humans are considered Replace the word
interacting
as
Change preposition
apply
a
social creatures and there for loneliness leads immature young people to have anxiety and depression.
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
For instance
, one of my Linking Words
friends’
younger brother, who was in Correct your spelling
friend’s
his
secondary school, was addicted to mobile phones Correct pronoun usage
apply
ended
up Correct word choice
and ended
with
having suicidal thoughts Change preposition
apply
due to
severe depression. Another vital consideration is thatLinking Words
,
some advertisements force young people to buy unnecessary items Remove the comma
apply
because
their lack of understanding and Add the preposition
ofbecause
experiences
. Fix the agreement mistake
experience
For
Linking Words
example
there are some adverts in Add a comma
,example
you tube
about fancy stationeries which are low in durability.Thereby, it is vital that long screen Correct your spelling
youtube
time
negatively impact Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
children
’s health and Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
not economical.
In conclusion, Add a missing verb
is also
this
essay discussed Linking Words
cause
Correct article usage
the cause
for
mobile Change preposition
of
phone
Use synonyms
usage
and its negative impact on Use synonyms
children
. In my opinion, Use synonyms
children
should be encouraged to have limited Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
while
parents should guide them to select Linking Words
suitable
Add an article
the suitable
a suitable
way
of use.Fix the agreement mistake
ways
Submitted by chapa.chee on
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Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.