The best way to obtain/ the key to/ most important factor in job satisfaction is salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Best-way)

#factor #job #satisfaction #salary #best-way

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A number of factors can contribute towards somebody’s happiness in their career

life

Use synonyms

. Having taken other factors into consideration, I,

however

Linking Words

, disagree that monetary compensation is the key to

job

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fulfilment. On the one hand,

it is clear that

Linking Words

salary

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can play a role in people’s

job

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contentment.

Firstly

Linking Words

, workers’ quality of

life

Use synonyms

highly depends on their financial circumstances.

For example

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, a good amount of money received by employees in exchange for their working time enables them to meet their daily needs and pay the bills to have a comfortable

life

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. The fact that most people work hard to get

salary

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increases shows that

salary

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does a vital role.

Secondly

Linking Words

, if people obtain higher incomes than they need, they can satisfy their tertiary needs. Not only can they spend their money on visiting

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

tourist destinations and buying luxury consumer goods, but they can

also

Linking Words

save it for their retirement. Regardless of how they opt to spend their earnings, high-paying jobs prevent them from having an

otherwise

Linking Words

tedious

life

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. Despite the importance of

salary

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in relation to career satisfaction, I believe there are other more crucial factors.

Firstly

Linking Words

, work-

life

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balance is vital. Take some salesmen

for example

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, who can sell their products and earn commission worth thousands of dollars a month by working overtime to exceed their companies’ sales targets. In spite of generating

such

Linking Words

a large amount of money, they may frequently be overworked, having little to no spare time for their loved ones and their hobbies.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a work environment often determines how satisfied workers are with their careers. Being surrounded by supportive colleagues and caring leaders, they can focus on teamwork

instead

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of competition against each other,

consequently

Linking Words

making it less likely for them to get into personal conflicts.

In contrast

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, having colleagues who try to hamper their career development can create a stressful work atmosphere, which is harmful to their mental well-being. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

lucrative jobs might lead to workers being happy, it is work-

life

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balance and a positive working climate that

are

Change the verb form

show examples

an integral part of

job

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satisfaction.

Thus

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, I remain firmly convinced that

salary

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is not the major reason behind

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Tue Mar 07 2023

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Financial security
2. Desirable lifestyle
3. Significant motivator
4. Job responsibilities
5. Engagement and challenge
6. Positive work environment
7. Supportive management
8. Career progression
9. Professional growth
10. Skill development
11. Sustainable job satisfaction
12. Work-life balance
13. Flexible working hours
14. Reasonable workloads
15. Healthy work-life balance

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