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There are many things that motivate a person to work, but money is the most compelling. In your opinion, how influential is the power of money?

#person #work #money #power
Throught
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Through
Throughout
 many years in history, there've been long discussions
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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money
 is a true instrument to make people work harder and feel the competitive challenge among the other employees. Societies which are unequal in terms of income have been struggling to settle the right motivation to
perfom
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perform
at
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to
show examples
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
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 extent. When it comes to achieving a career aim and
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
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fullfield
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fulfilled
full field
 in a certain area ,
money
 is one of the greatest
motivator
Change to a plural noun
motivators
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. It drives people to aim higher and work harder. Like the greatest prize, the employee gets when meeting the deadline.
Whereas
money
 can help a worker to feel safer and satisfied
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some extent, some other areas , like phycological or
sociable
Replace the word
social
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 aspects, do suffer. Being concentrated on either monthly or yearly income, a
money
 maker neglects the other
extremelly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 relevant things in his life, like family and health. Working overtime to get extra financial benefits might lead to disastrous
consenquences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 in his life-balance things. A family
spouce
Correct your spelling
spouse
 might file a divorce reasoning a lack of attention , or the physical condition might give first calls to have a break for a
while
.
To sum up
, nowadays in
this
 rapidly growing world
money
 is the key to
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
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 a lot, but
still
Add a comma
,still
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 there are some other things which must be paid extreme attention to as well.
Submitted by rogozhnicova on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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