Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

In recent years, the development of the mobile phone has influenced many people in the world, especially children. Most of them spend a long time each day on their mobiles because these electronic devices provide

video

streaming apps that are so engrossing.

However

, I think

this

situation can generate negative consequences for children. In

this

essay, I will provide more explanations and some examples related to

this

issue. Juveniles mostly love using mobile phones for entertainment. They can easily download many apps on mobile,

such

video

streaming services.

This

means they have endless opportunities to access those apps and enjoy themselves.

Also

, they can spend their entire day consuming new shows without thinking.

For example

, Netflix has many fun

video

cartoons for kids. Some of

which

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

design their title and thumbnails to entice children to click on one more

video

As a result

, they spend their free time in front of a screen

instead

of being outside doing physical activities,

such

as bike riding or playing sports.

On the other hand

, there are some adverse effects of using mobile. The main drawback is getting addicted to accessing mobiles and minors will be lazy to do exercises physically since they like to watch movies on their phones all day.

Consequently

, it can lead to serious health problems

such

as mental health problems, obesity, and stroke. In conclusion, videos on mobiles may be irresistible to those under 18.

However

, parents should restrict screen time as much as possible to reduce the harmful effects of using mobile phones.

Submitted by rahmad.iriyandi on Tue Mar 07 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people argue that government should spend their money on elderly people's care. However, other people say that government should focus more on education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments spend large amounts of money on art that not all people enjoy. This money could be better spent on things that benefit the majority of the population. Do you agree?

In many countries, a lot of food is wasted. Why do people waste food? How can we reduce the amount of food waste?

Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education in many countries. Some people believe that universities and authorities should help them so that they can get a university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?