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Band 7

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
In recent years, the development of the mobile phone has influenced many people in the world, especially children. Most of them spend a long time each day on their mobiles because these electronic devices provide
video
 streaming apps that are so engrossing.
However
, I think
this
 situation can generate negative consequences for children. In
this
 essay, I will provide more explanations and some examples related to
this
 issue. Juveniles mostly love using mobile phones for entertainment. They can easily download many apps on mobile,
such
 as
video
 streaming services.
This
 means they have endless opportunities to access those apps and enjoy themselves.
Also
, they can spend their entire day consuming new shows without thinking.
For example
, Netflix has many fun
video
 cartoons for kids. Some of
which
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 design their title and thumbnails to entice children to click on one more
video
.
As a result
, they spend their free time in front of a screen
instead
 of being outside doing physical activities,
such
 as bike riding or playing sports.
On the other hand
, there are some adverse effects of using mobile. The main drawback is getting addicted to accessing mobiles and minors will be lazy to do exercises physically since they like to watch movies on their phones all day.
Consequently
, it can lead to serious health problems
such
 as mental health problems, obesity, and stroke. In conclusion, videos on mobiles may be irresistible to those under 18.
However
, parents should restrict screen time as much as possible to reduce the harmful effects of using mobile phones.
Submitted by rahmad.iriyandi on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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