Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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In recent years, the development of the mobile phone has influenced many people in the world, especially children. Most of them spend a long time each day on their mobiles because these electronic devices provide

video

Use synonyms

streaming apps that are so engrossing.

However

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, I think

this

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situation can generate negative consequences for children. In

this

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essay, I will provide more explanations and some examples related to

this

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issue. Juveniles mostly love using mobile phones for entertainment. They can easily download many apps on mobile,

such

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video

Use synonyms

streaming services.

This

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means they have endless opportunities to access those apps and enjoy themselves.

Also

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, they can spend their entire day consuming new shows without thinking.

For example

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, Netflix has many fun

video

Use synonyms

cartoons for kids. Some of

which

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

design their title and thumbnails to entice children to click on one more

video

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As a result

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, they spend their free time in front of a screen

instead

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of being outside doing physical activities,

such

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as bike riding or playing sports.

On the other hand

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, there are some adverse effects of using mobile. The main drawback is getting addicted to accessing mobiles and minors will be lazy to do exercises physically since they like to watch movies on their phones all day.

Consequently

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, it can lead to serious health problems

such

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as mental health problems, obesity, and stroke. In conclusion, videos on mobiles may be irresistible to those under 18.

However

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, parents should restrict screen time as much as possible to reduce the harmful effects of using mobile phones.

Submitted by rahmad.iriyandi on Tue Mar 07 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You have just won two tickets to a concert and want invite your friend to go with you.Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: •give details about the concert •describe how you won the tickets •explain why you've chosen your friend to go with.

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?