Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some individuals think that success could be measured only by wealth
however
I totally disagree with this
statement. There are many factors that define the advance of a human. This
essay will discuss various factors that define success.
To begin
with, many folks think that the more they earn cash the more successful in life. There are many factors to consider like,
peace of mind and enjoying the work to do. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, a character who is working for twelve hours a day without taking breaks and focusing only to earn
more and more capital, Change preposition
on earning
then
he is definitely not a happy person. He will not have enough time to spend that bill with their loved ones. He just adds capital and thinks he will be a successful body but he is just a machine which is running continuously for capital. He will not enjoy the small pleasure
of life. People should always measure accomplishment by how happy they are with their family, friends and society.
Fix the agreement mistake
pleasures
Secondly
, another important factor for being successful is the health of a person. Many peeps
tend to keep working long hours without taking breaks or any vacations and will have several health issues. Correct your spelling
people
For instance
, folks who are working long hours may suffer from serious mental issues or back issues. They might go into depression because they do not have enough to look for themselves. This
is why people should take care of their health by taking breaks, enjoying some quality time with family and friends and making sure that they are eating proper nutritious food and keeping themselves safe and fit.
In conclusion, earning lots of money does not define achievement. There are other elements that should also
take
into consideration. People should stop running behind money and understand the real meaning of success.Wrong verb form
be taken
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on
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task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and provides clear and relevant ideas. However, more specific and varied examples could be used to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. The use of connecting words and phrases is effective, contributing to the coherence of the essay.