Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?
It is true that the number of car owners has increased so quickly over the past three decades, causing traffic jams in several
cities
in the world. There are various reasons that support Use synonyms
this
approach, and there are a variety of measures that can be implemented by the Linking Words
government
to solve Use synonyms
this
issue.
There are so many reasons why Linking Words
this
trend is becoming more realistic and to support Linking Words
this
idea. The first contributing factor is the environmental problem since an increasing figure Linking Words
for
Change preposition
of
cars
, which release carbon dioxide, causes climate change, global warming, and air pollution problems. Use synonyms
For instance
, there is evidence that many Linking Words
people
in Bangkok and Chiangmai have respiratory problems Use synonyms
due to
bad particles from CO2 emissions. Another point to be considered is the number of Linking Words
people
that move away from major Use synonyms
cities
to rural areas. Use synonyms
Instead
of staying in big Linking Words
cities
with traffic congestion and stressful life, the majority of Use synonyms
people
nowadays Use synonyms
preferring
to live in suburban areas with more Wrong verb form
prefer
of
nature and fresh air.
Change preposition
apply
However
, there are three aspects that could be used to tackle those problems. Linking Words
Firstly
, the Linking Words
government
should be more serious about improving public transportation in big Use synonyms
cities
Use synonyms
such
as enhancing sky trains, and underground trains, using new models of public buses, and making a precise bus schedule. Linking Words
Moreover
, the Linking Words
government
might consider increasing tax on imported Use synonyms
cars
, which can certainly reduce the proportion of Use synonyms
cars
on roads and create more revenues for the Use synonyms
government
to support other fields. Use synonyms
For example
, developing public infrastructure, education, and public welfare. Linking Words
Lastly
, the Linking Words
government
should make a campaign in order to raise public awareness, encouraging Use synonyms
people
to use alternative methods of transportation.
In conclusion, it is a fact that the figure for Use synonyms
cars
is increasing for the given reasons, but steps can definitely be taken to solve those issues.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task well, but it can be improved by clearly stating the measures the government can take to discourage car use in the thesis statement. Currently, it talks about the reasons for increased car ownership and the measures, but it would be stronger if there was a more focused thesis.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented in the essay can be expanded with more comprehensive arguments and examples. For instance, while the essay mentions environmental problems and people moving to suburban areas, these points could be elaborated on with more supporting details or statistics.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is good, but there are some areas for improvement. The discussion on environmental problems and migration to rural areas seems somewhat disconnected. Try to provide smoother transitions between these ideas to make the essay more cohesive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea and expands on it fully before moving to the next one. For example, the paragraph on government measures could be divided into multiple paragraphs, each focusing on one specific measure, which would make the arguments clearer and stronger.
Introduction
The introduction sets the context and presents the issue clearly, making it easy for readers to follow the discussion.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, presenting a clear final stance on the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?