Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. what are the advantages and disadvtanges of this trend?

#people #families #care #homes #disadvtanges #trend

In today's modern world, it is becoming very common

that

Correct word choice

for

show examples

senior citizens are

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

sent to elder or nursing

care

facilities by their families

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

of,

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

able

allocate

Fix the infinitive

to allocate

show examples

enough time to look after them.

This

essay will cover both its

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

and drawbacks in

following

Correct article usage

the following

show examples

paragraphs. To commence with the major advantages associated with admitting aged people to these

homes

firstly

this

provides elders atmosphere to re-live their moments with other fellows of

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

age group.

In addition

this

care

homes

also

provide various recreational varieties, which

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

help them enjoy and keep them engaged in numerous activities.

Secondly

, nursing

homes

also

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

better health service within the

premesis

Correct your spelling

premises

, which not only provide aged people better first-aid treatment but

also

they get routine health check-ups by medical professionals.

Therefore

, they feel

Change the word

apply

show examples

safer and healthier in these facilities.

On the other hand

, there are

also

some drawbacks linked

while

Change preposition

show examples

putting seniors in these

care

homes

, starting with, grandchildren,

in particular

doesnot

Verb problem

do not

show examples

get enough love,

care

, and precious time

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they are more likely to spend with their grandparents and on top of that, the guidance about future what they could have gotten by their grandparents.

For instance

, generally, it has always been noticed that grandparents who

Correct subject-verb agreement

educate

show examples

educates

Correct subject-verb agreement

educate

show examples

children at an early age about society, history, and values are more likely remembered by

Correct your spelling

kids

show examples

kinds

Correct your spelling

kids

show examples

during their entire life.

Furthermore

, their own children will

also

not be able

receive

Add the particle

to receive

show examples

their emotional and mental support during their tough times.

To sum up

, without a doubt elders will receive better

care

that includes, health and recreational options at elder and nursing

care

facilities.

Whereas

, their own grandchildren will be the ones who will

unfortunetly

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

, miss the love,

care

and emotional support

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they would have gotten

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if the elder people were in the home itself.

Submitted by vikrant on Tue Mar 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion to fully address the task prompt.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more logical sequence and ensure that each paragraph connects to the main topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

professional medical attention
trained staff
social activities
interaction with peers
loneliness
safety features
round-the-clock supervision
well-being
careers
personal lives
emotional distress
abandoned
financial burden
quality of care
required standards
loss of independence
structured environment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You recently travelled by train on a long journey and you experienced various problems. Write a letter to the train company’s head office. In your letter, give the details of your journey, including the date, time and where you sat explain the problems that happened and express your dissatisfaction ask about what action will be taken to improve the service
I am writing to you to bring to your attention on one of the problems I encountered on my recent train journey in our country.
5.5
band
In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?
It is becoming more common to find individuals who work in several jobs at the same time these days, whilst in the past, most workers used to have only one employment. This essay discusses the reasons behind this phenomenon, and the merits, and drawbacks to this.
4.5
band
Some people think crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, in spite of, Technology improving, crimes and problems from them increased enormously so that, some people believe these are a result of poverty and community matters. However, other groups think these products are from humans who have negative nature. Although, in my opinion first theory is true because crime and social issues are parallel.
5
band
Most of the people in older time used to stay in the same place. Now many people keep changing places and move to various places during their life time. What Are the reasons for this? Do u think that it is a positive or a negative development?
Migrating to another city or changing a career is nowadays a popular trend. Some people choose to stay in the cities where they have been born or to stick to their career and never try anything new for their work, but some decide to change their lives, moving to another city, or changing their work field. Though there can be many disadvantages of radically changing the way of someone's life, in my opinion, such a change can create numerous benefits for all types of people.
4.5
band
Some people believe that people who read books for pleasure can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that book readers are more likely to improve their imagination and language abilities than TV lovers, especially their recreational time. While this can be true to some extent, I believe these positive outcomes depends on personal traits and preferences.

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. what are the advantages and disadvtanges of this trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

Some people think crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most of the people in older time used to stay in the same place. Now many people keep changing places and move to various places during their life time. What Are the reasons for this? Do u think that it is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that people who read books for pleasure can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?