IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there to this problem?

#threats #environment
In
this
 day and age, some people believe in the view that the Earth is becoming warmer day by day, which is one of the most dangerous hazards to the environment. There are a host of reasons behind
this
 phenomenon, and several solutions should be adopted to address
this
 problem. There are a number of causes of
this
 alarming issue. First of all,
gases
such
 as carbon dioxide trap heat from the sun.
It is clear that
 factories and vehicles produce emissions and exhaust fumes.
Moreover
, people cut down lots of trees which absorb CO2 and produce O2 . These heat-trapping
gases
 are called the greenhouse effect.
Consequently
, these hot
gases
 cannot escape from the earth's surface and cause the earth’s temperature to become warmer.
Furthermore
, nowadays, people have created more waste because of the amount of packaging used and the short life cycle of products. A lot of items, waste and packaging
isn't
Change the verb form
aren't
show examples
 recyclable, which means it ends up in landfills. When the waste in landfills begins to decompose, it releases harmful
gases
 into the atmosphere which contribute to global warming.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are various steps that governments and residents could take to tackle these problems.
Firstly
, governments could introduce laws to limit emissions from factories. They could impose ‘green taxes’ on non-renewable resources, drivers and airline companies….
Then
 investing in renewable energy from solar, wind,
water
Correct word choice
and water
show examples
 power… and making laws protecting the ecosystem.
Secondly
, individuals
also
 should contribute to
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 our environment. We may take public transport rather than
driving
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
. Limiting the use of plastic materials and recycling as much as possible.
Lastly
, we should try to be greener, and protect watershed forests from loggers. In conclusion, we have faced one of the most difficult challenges - it is global warming. It can be ascribed to two main reasons which are…, and
this
 issue can be dealt with by a joint effort of both government and citizens.
Submitted by huyenk10502 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Climate change
  • Earth's atmosphere
  • Carbon dioxide
  • Methane
  • Nitrous oxide
  • Emissions
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy efficiency
  • Afforestation
  • Carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: