IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
society
Use synonyms
,
crime
Use synonyms
racing
Wrong verb form
races
show examples
 up day by day. Studies
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 many prisoners retake crimes even after they
out
Add a missing verb
are out
show examples
 of Jail. I’m going to discuss the cause and effects relating to
this
Linking Words
 matter.
According to
Linking Words
 me,
people
Use synonyms
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to be more aggressive each and every day. Some of them ended up showing their anger by involving
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a fight or else by doing a
crime
Use synonyms
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 became
criminals
Use synonyms
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they try to take revenge
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 there was a famous guy who killed seven
people
Use synonyms
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
revenge
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 his sister’s rape.
Secondly
Linking Words
, drugs and lack of money became very common in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
society
Use synonyms
.
Young
Add an article
The young
show examples
 generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drugs
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 cause to gain robbery and
crime
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 became a huge impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
association
Add an article
the association
an association
show examples
. Showing possible effects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 major problem
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the
society
Use synonyms
 and government ministry. The government can spend more money by introducing many programs which can prison bring up their level of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 their skill. The
criminals
Use synonyms
 will not
be involve
Change the verb form
be involved
show examples
 in
further
Linking Words
 crimes.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
 government should build rehabilitation
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 they will learn how to deal with
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 and how to earn by hardworking.
Finally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 and education
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the next effects
Correct pronoun usage
that brings
show examples
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
show examples
 back.
Society
Use synonyms
 should treat each and every person as
similarities
Replace the word
similar
show examples
 prisons shouldn’t marginalize at any cost. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 the given reasons rise up
people
Use synonyms
 for being
misdeed
Fix the agreement mistake
misdeeds
show examples
 and neglect.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
 by providing proper guldens they can be rescued
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 being
a murders
Correct the article-noun agreement
murders
a murder
show examples
 once again.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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