IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer.

#school #community #support #plan
These days education is important for developing
community
Correct article usage
a community
show examples
 so,some
people
 think that it a good chance to make a new life for children,
while
 others believe
that is
 make a new job for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
This
 essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand,
built
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 a new
school
 in the same place is a bad idea.
For example
,
that is
 different to finding
Add an article
a
show examples
new
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 for
this
school
 so, that's why some think
that is
 not a good idea.
On the other hand
,
built
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 a new high
school
 is a good opportunity for the community.To illustrate, that makes for
built
Change the form of the verb
building
show examples
 a new high
school
 we can open
a new jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
new jobs
a new job
show examples
 for the
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
.
Hence
 the belief that a good idea for all
people
 living in
this
 area.
In addition
 ,
bulit
Correct your spelling
built
 a new high
school
 is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Amazing and
this
 helps
people
 to make a new business around the
school
.For an instance, building a restaurant and small shops around the
school
 can make a city
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good for
living
Replace the word
live
show examples
.
This
 proves clearly that
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
show examples
 city. In conclusion, after analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of view,I believe
that is
 good for all
people
 living in
this
 region and
built
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 a new high
school
 are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
big
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 when we have
people
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not like that.
Submitted by keekrztop on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: