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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the 21st century, many women have come out of their home to become what we call working women. What are the advantages and disadvantages of women joining the workforce?

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In the latest generation, numerous
women
Use synonyms
 choose to start their own careers rather than just stay at the home and take care of their children. In
this
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 essay, I will describe the benefits and negative impacts.
To begin
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 with,
women
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 could become economically independent by entering the workforce.
This
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 aims to help them support themselves and elevate their living standard to a higher level, which could give
women
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 a sense of self-esteem and personal satisfaction.
Besides
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, workplaces provide opportunities for
women
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 to interact with others, which could develop their social skills and enlarge their social networks. Meanwhile, they could expose new ideas during
work
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 time.
This
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 interaction enables
women
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 to excavate their potential in order to improve their professional skills. Because social skills are transferable skill, it
also
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 helps people to cooperate with others and be more patient with their kids. On the counterpart,
women
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 may suffer discrimination in the workplace.
This
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 discrimination represents as provide lower salaries and fewer promoted chances for
women
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, which could exert a negative impact on
women
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’s career development.
Besides
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,
women
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 need to find a balance between family and career since in general vision,
women
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 are treated as a person who needs to take care of themselves and men need to earn enough money to support their families. After daily
work
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,
women
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 who feel stressed are more likely to ignore their children and become less patient. In conclusion, the benefits outweigh the disadvantages for those
women
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 who enter the workplace.
However
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, they need to make some compromises
while
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 working
such
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 as limited
work
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 time and lower stress since they
also
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 need to educate their children after
work
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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