Gaming is argued to have a bad influence on young children, but some people think that it could have a positive effect on them as well. Which view do you agree with? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

There is no doubt that gaming has become popular among young
children
.
However
, the question is whether it has a positive or negative impact on them. In
this
essay, I will argue that gaming could have both positive and negative
effects
on young
children
, but the negative outweighs the benefits.
To begin
with, gaming has a negative influence in that can lead to addiction and decreased physical activity. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that
children
nowadays
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
most of their time in front of the screen.
For instance
,
children
who spend hours playing video games may become addicted to them, leading to a lack of physical exercise which could cause overweight.
However
, gaming
also
can have positive
effects
. To illustrate, it can improve the ability to use technology and enhance the
children
's creativity.
Moreover
, playing video games is one of the influences on student performance in the classroom. A study conducted by American scientists found that
children
who spent more than three hours a day playing video games were more likely to have lower grades than those who played less.
In other words
, excessive gaming can lead to poor academic performance. It is important for parents to monitor their
children
’s gaming habits and encourage them to balance their time between gaming and other activities to avoid negative consequences. In conclusion,
although
gaming can have positive
effects
on young
children
, it
also
has a clear negative effect ,
Therefore
, I believe that the negative
effects
of gaming outweigh the positive ones, and parents must ensure steps are taken to prevent
this
phenomenon from destroying the new generation's future.
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task response
The essay has effectively addressed the prompt by discussing both positive and negative effects of gaming on young children. However, the writer could strengthen the argument by providing more specific examples and elaborating on each point further.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing negative and positive effects of gaming, and a conclusion. Transition words and phrases could be used more effectively to enhance the coherence of the essay.
task response
The essay effectively discusses both the positive and negative effects of gaming on young children.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
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