The diagram illustrate how steel rods aee manufactured in the furniture industry.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The given diagram describes the process of

steel

Use synonyms

rod production by the manufacturers of furniture. It can be clearly seen that

steel

Use synonyms

rod making is a liner process comprised of ten steps i.e., melting, refinement, ingot making, strand casting, rolling, heat treatment, surface check, and cutting before ID stamping and inspection.

To begin

Linking Words

with, raw materials i.e., yellow ore, iron ore, and carbon are gathered and transferred to the melting slits where these are subjected to the temperature of 1300- 1500 Celsius for melting.

Next,

Linking Words

melted raw materials are refined in a smelting cabin and

then

Linking Words

candescent metal is poured by a pouring machine into bar moulds for making

steel

Use synonyms

ingots. Following ingot making, wires of cooled

steel

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

produced through the step of strand casting in which each ingot is passed through the nozzle connected to a cooling reservoir of temperature 60 – 100 Celsius. The wires of cooled

steel

Use synonyms

are

then

Linking Words

subjected to the rollers to flatten the strands before subjecting them to the heating machines for heat treatment.

After

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the

steel

Use synonyms

wires are passed on for surface check with the help of a measuring automation machine before sending them for cutting into equal sizes.

Lastly

Linking Words

, the

steel

Use synonyms

rods produced are stamped with the manufacturer’s ID and

then

Linking Words

passed for quality inspection.

sadaf.pearlWed Mar 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words steel with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

215 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
There are people who thinks if a person is rich he is successful in his life . Do you agree or disagree
There is no doubt about the fact that wealth plays an important role in our daily lives. Likely, many people measured success on how much amount of money an individual possessed. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement. In this essay, I will attempt to elaborate on my thoughts regarding this matter.
7.5
band
More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The alarming rise in obesity rates, where people are becoming seriously overweight, has fueled debates on effective solutions. A popular proposal calls for raising the prices of high-calorie foods to reduce consumption. While this fiscal strategy has some merit, I argue that it is overly simplistic, neglects the impact on economically disadvantaged groups, and fails to address the multifaceted nature of the obesity epidemic.
7.5
band
Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through other media platforms. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Opinions are divided on whether getting information from newspapers or media platforms is a better choice. Although traditional newspapers can bring certain advantages, I believe that modern platforms are better information sources for many reasons.
6.5
band
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is undoubtedly true that the rise of different kinds of problems is increasing at an alarming rate such as environmental obstacles, high innate rate difficulties as well as educational hurdles. In this essay, I will discuss what difficulties we can see in the next ten years and how to cope with them along with that I will try to give the best examples from my best experience in the upcoming paragraphs.
7
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today’s fast-paced world, scientific advancement has become a key factor to ensure a secure and fulfilling life, this is why some people argue that the people’s lives improvement should be the most important goal of science. Personally, I agree and believe that if other aims such as discovering the unknown windows of the universe or producing war-related equipment are valued over the former aim, mankind will witness the detrimental consequences of these approaches.

The diagram illustrate how steel rods aee manufactured in the furniture industry.

There are people who thinks if a person is rich he is successful in his life . Do you agree or disagree

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through other media platforms. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.