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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries.

The tables below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries.
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The given tables show the details of the consumption of
beer
Use synonyms
 and
fruit
Use synonyms
juice
Use synonyms
 per person every year in various nations.
Overall
Linking Words
, It can be seen that the utilization of
beer
Use synonyms
 as a drink is more than that of
fruit
Use synonyms
juice
Use synonyms
 in every country. And
also
Linking Words
,
beer
Use synonyms
 is most consumed by European countries
while
Linking Words
fruit
Use synonyms
juice
Use synonyms
 is most consumed by North American countries.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the countries that consume over 100L of
beer
Use synonyms
 are three nations including Ireland, Germany, and Austria drinking around 155000, 119000, and 106000 millilitres respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Belgium, Denmark, and the United Kingdom range between 90 and 100 litres, and have the same numbers approximately (between 98L and 97L), occupying the positions on the table from 4th to 6th respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, nations
such
Linking Words
 as Australia, the US, the Netherlands, and
also
Linking Words
 the Finnish peoples consume
beer
Use synonyms
, which is just under 90
L
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
fruit
Use synonyms
juice
Use synonyms
 was consumed the most in Canada at 52.6L, followed by the US at 42.8L.
Moreover
Linking Words
, New Zealand utilized the least amount of
fruit
Use synonyms
juice
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 at exactly 24.8L, during which individuals from different cultures take the extracts in the range between 28 and 40 litres.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words beer, fruit, juice, l with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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