Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays

children

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tend to use their phones for relatively a long duration of the day.

This

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trend has occurred because of many factors.

While

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acknowledging the educational reason that may be one of the factors to overuse phones, I believe that it is a negative development ,especially for their

health

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. The following paragraphs will give

further

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argumentation on

this

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. First of all, the main reason for

children

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to excessively use phones is that there are many intriguing activities that

children

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can do with them. Watching videos or playing games are examples of

this

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. Nowadays, rather than going outside and doing physical activities or traditional games with friends, a phone offers enormous

also

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engaging activities for

children

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Secondly

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, entertainment sometimes is not always the reason, there are some

children

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that needed smartphones for educational purposes

such

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as attending online classes or looking for learning materials.

However

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, whatever the case is, using a phone for a big amount of time per day is harmful to one's

health

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. The most apparent effect of

this

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is the effect on a person's eyesight

such

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as myopia, and cataract, the blue ray radiation from the screen will become increasingly dangerous if it occurs for a long time.

Additionally

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, when

children

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are addicted to a smartphone, it could trigger them to apply a sedentary lifestyle and will lead them to more

health

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problems

such

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as obesity. All in all,

although

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reasons for phone overuse are varied, it is still considered a negative development particularly when a child's screen time is too much.

Hence

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this

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could result in some

health

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problems.

iamlearner9697Thu Mar 09 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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