IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

n spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One
Use synonyms
 of the most conspicuous trends of today’s world is a lot of people in rural areas still do not have enough food to survive. There is a widespread worry that
this
Linking Words
 will only lead to a myriad of concerns in society.
This
Linking Words
 apprehension is warranted and merits serious consideration.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are several arguments in favour of my stance.
One
Use synonyms
 of the most main problems is that the rich state doesn't send the new technology to the poor street. To elaborate
further
Linking Words
, in Africa many villages are without potable
water
Use synonyms
 to drink and there is not enough
water
Use synonyms
 to use to irrigate the fields so it is more difficult to cultivate
hence
Linking Words
, the local community can farm only a limited number of products.
For example
Linking Words
, they cultivate potatoes .
According to
Linking Words
 “Times Magazine December 2017 Edition” if hunger appears in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greater volume, it will not only upgrade society but
also
Linking Words
 benefit our environment.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, all these merits stand our community in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good stead as far as Topic is concerned. Another overt facet of the problem is the money to buy new technological systems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if all the rich countries send them money to buy
water
Use synonyms
 purifiers, and drill to make wells where to take underground
water
Use synonyms
, in a few years the problem will be finished. Few comprehensive studies have been conducted,
one
Use synonyms
 from “The University of Sydney” showed that it is only possible to develop our nation through proper management of Reason 2.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is apparent
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why many are in favour of the Topic. in conclusion,
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 arguments outlined above,
one
Use synonyms
 can conclude that all these benefits are indeed too dire to ignore. It is recommended that government should converge all the respective departments to curb
this
Linking Words
 menace.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: