Some people who have been in prison become good citizens late, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In a materialistic world, nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for
people
to see
success
only with property and treasures,
such
as cars, yachts, bank accounts or expensive jewellery.
Although
I accept the inconsiderable role of these
things
in triumph, a person can be successful without these
things
as well. Regarding the opinion of
success
, one of the main reasons most
people
think that
success
can only be measured by richness or material possessions is that many famous
people
, whom almost everyone respects and wants to become like them, have
such
things
.
Therefore
, they always show off their luxurious lives, influencing peoples' thoughts about
success
.
For example
, we can see on social media that Ilon Mask, who is considered successful, is always seen with his wealth and luxuries.
Furthermore
, many
people
who are not in good condition cannot afford these sorts of
things
, and they feel like unsuccessfully, so they automatically connect the accomplishment with prosperity and material belongings. To be successful, more than being wealthy and well-conditioned is needed. Since most sciences prove that being grateful and convent with what we have is the best way to feel happiness, it will help everyone without any difficulties.
Furthermore
, another critical achievement indicator is having a wealthy relationship in life for each individual.
For example
, it is hard to imagine that someone with a lonely soul can achieve something great.
To sum up
, I cannot ignore that property, and material belongings play a role in happiness;
people
can achieve a happy life by being satisfied and confident.
Submitted by feya9104 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!