Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships

There are many contexts and situations in social media that can be positive and negative for society. It is said that social media sites have a negative

big

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

impact on the lives of the young crowd

while

others claim that it is good for a young community to use online pages to take advantage to become better individuals. In

this

essay, I will explain both and

then

give my opinion on the matter. To start with,

people

who are exposed to social platforms are at risk of wasting time. When surfing on the net

people

tend to lose track of time. They tend to leave work aside and some of them lose their focus which makes them behave badly at work and at school.

For example

, a kid would not know when to stop being online and he may miss his meals and even sleep, which would later on, be reflected in his bad mood, poor school performance and lack of interaction with his family.

On the other hand

, social media has a lot of benefits for young

people

if it is used properly. There are many tools that sites

such

as Facebook, Instagram and ticktock can offer when it is used for educational purposes. The amount of relevant and worthwhile information online for a person's personal growth and professional improvement is wide.

For instance

, with that content, someone can be unstoppable and would be successful for sure.

To sum up

, social networking websites have benefits and negative aspects for young

people

. Some young adults would waste time if they lose focus.

Nevertheless

, these online apps may be worth it if they are used to improve lifestyle. As far as I am concerned, It is a good way to improve our personal lives and make connections that

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be important later in life.

Submitted by Andrea Barreto on Thu Mar 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay addresses both perspectives but lacks clear development of ideas and arguments. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present but need improvement in clarity and focus.

task achievement

The response covers both sides of the argument but lacks depth and specific examples. The ideas need further development to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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