IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that the use of animals in medical research for the benefir of humans is acceptable, while others believe that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many medical scientists are in favour that animal testing in the medical field
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 well-being.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, animal lovers argue that it is inappropriate.
According to
Linking Words
 my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 ethical issues are vital to consider, these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of medical lab activities are more advantageous for weak people to increase
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy.
This
Linking Words
 essay will not only elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 aspects of animal testing but
also
Linking Words
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 personal point of view. To commence with, having a healthier and long
life
Use synonyms
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people are convinced that experiments bring better treatments in the form of drugs to eradicate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dreadful diseases. Just because of these lab activities, human beings have
a safe feelings
Correct the article-noun agreement
a safe feeling
safe feelings
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 on
this
Linking Words
 planet by doing many research actions
firstly
Linking Words
 on
animals
Use synonyms
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 rabbits, rats, monkeys and many more, because they are having almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 bones and
other body system
Change the wording
another body system
other body systems
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
human-society
Correct your spelling
human society
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 could have
saved
Add a missing verb
been saved
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 from covid-19, a dreadful virus because of intense research done on
animals
Use synonyms
 within six months and the result was covishield vaccinations.
However
Linking Words
, before these
vaccines
Add a comma
,vaccines
show examples
 the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
death rate was at
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
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 rate. Apart from it, not only because of these medicines, we are living healthier
lufe
Correct your spelling
lives
 but
also
Linking Words
 expecting long
life
Use synonyms
 for our future generations.
Hence
Linking Words
,
animals
Use synonyms
 can be used for
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 welfare.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the advocates of
animals
Use synonyms
 have their own perception
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 not killing these creatures because of unethical and unsafe for animal species. First of all, when medical scientists are doing drug or vaccine experiments on these particular species, they
also
Linking Words
 have some kind of
pains
Fix the agreement mistake
pain
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 as human beings. To be more clear, their actions are full of cruelty causing death in horror, side effects can be seen and permanent disability can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
Use synonyms
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 tenure.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, animal rights activists demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
more rights from
united
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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 to safeguard these innocent
Use synonyms
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
 rights and
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
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 their voices against
this
Linking Words
 cruelty.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 should stop immediately. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 animal testing violates the moral ethics and lives of these test subjects, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is an alternative to live longer and
disease free
Add a hyphen
disease-free
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 by pre-testing medicine experiments on certain animal species.

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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