A young person will start work at your office next month to gain work experience. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter inform him/her about the work that needs to be done at the office; explain what he/she is supposed to do on the first day; suggest what he/she should bring to work.

#person #work #office #month #gain #first

Dear John, I am so glad that you are

finally

going to join our team next week. I fully understand that starting a job in a new company can be both exciting and challenging. As your department head, I would like to provide you with some suggestions that you might find useful during your onboarding.

Firstly

, as stated in the job description, the primary task of a technical assistant is to help our staff members with system-related problems they may encounter during their daily work. You are

also

expected to prepare various reports regarding the performance of the system when required. Details of your daily work and

further

instructions will be given by Lucas, your direct supervisor. Upon arriving at the office on the first day, please go directly to the human resources department on the 3rd floor where you will be given your badge and a guidebook containing general information and policies of the company. After that please find Catherine, our secretary, who will give you a brief orientation about our department

as well as

your colleagues. There will be a welcome party during the lunch break so please take the chance to introduce yourself to our team members. You do not need to bring your personal laptops

nor

Correct word choice

show examples

any stationaries as they will be provided by the company.

However

, please ensure that you bring your identification document and a copy of your CV as required by the HR colleagues. I hope you enjoy your onboarding process and I am sure you will be impressed by the friendly and supportive environment in our office. Please feel free to contact me if you have other questions or need

further

information. Best Regards, Changyue Zhou

Submitted by 997339155 on Wed Feb 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

To further improve, consider using a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability and complexity of your writing. While your letter is well-organised, incorporating more complex sentences could elevate your writing to the next level.

coherence cohesion

Keep practising developing each paragraph around a central idea, as you have done effectively in this letter. This skill is crucial for keeping your writing coherent.

task achievement

Your response covers all aspects of the task with suitable detail, and the tone is appropriate throughout. To achieve an even higher score, try to provide more specific examples or more detailed suggestions that could be useful to the recipient.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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A young person will start work at your office next month to gain work experience. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter inform him/her about the work that needs to be done at the office; explain what he/she is supposed to do on the first day; suggest what he/she should bring to work.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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th the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

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