IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree? people spent too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do.

#people #time #enjoyment
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It has been observed that people are spending too much time on their own pleasures
instead
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 of doing things they are required to do.
While
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 many believe doing personal enjoyment is a waste of time, I personally believe
otherwise
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. Society nowadays is spending more of its time doing things they actually enjoy doing. I believe
this
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 is
due to
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 the fact that many are realizing the importance of personal well-being than the constant grind
that is
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 very much a trend in
this
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 generation. In some cases, people tend to choose professions based on their personal preferences than merely choosing an industry to enter for the money and benefits. The "grind" or what most people know as the "work hard, play hard" trend of
this
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 culture has sparked stress levels beyond the comprehension of those that come before them.
This
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 culture of the younger generations sets both their work life and personal life in a balanced state.
For example
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, young adults that are employed tend to perform their given tasks for countless hours in a day even when they are off duty just so they can finish their work in a given period. After a few weeks of working endlessly, finishing their workload earlier than expected, they tend to take a week off just to relax and be free of anything work-related.
This
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 gives them more energy to go back to back. In conclusion, I believe that many should embrace the idea of doing things they love and enjoy
instead
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 of looking at it as a problem that needs fixing.
Submitted by cacholarenzelle on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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