In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children tis message?
Children
are sometimes taught that they have to dream as high as they can. In order to achieve that, they have to work hard enough. Use synonyms
While
it can motivate them to pursue their dreams, it Linking Words
also
can affect them negatively if they put too much pressure on themselves.
The main purpose of Linking Words
this
message is to encourage Linking Words
children
to try their best. By working hard, Use synonyms
children
will exert more effort which can benefit their self-development. Not only will Use synonyms
this
development help them to get what they want, but Linking Words
also
yield other benefits that come along the way. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
children
who dedicate themselves to learning a musical instrument may not only excel in music but Use synonyms
also
develop discipline and perseverance, crucial life skills that extend beyond their initial goal.
Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
kind of message can Linking Words
also
be overwhelming for Linking Words
children
that they feel burdened. Use synonyms
This
happens because they experience too many pressures, leading them to think that they have not been trying enough. Linking Words
This
can lead to Linking Words
children
's depression and demotivation. Use synonyms
For instance
, a child who is told by his coach that he has not been practising hard enough to be a professional basketball player will result in lower self-esteem and struggle with anxiety. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
this
message will be counterproductive because it harms Linking Words
children
's mental.
It is understandable to want a big achievement in life and putting in effort is a way to attain them. Use synonyms
This
view has its own positive side as it can be advantageous for Linking Words
children
's development, but Use synonyms
also
its disadvantages if Linking Words
children
are pushing themself too hard. In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
this
culture can boost Linking Words
children
's motivation, parents and educators should Use synonyms
also
know about their Linking Words
children
's capabilities so they can foster a supportive environment where Use synonyms
children
can strive for their dreams without sacrificing their mental health.Use synonyms
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea with supporting sentences that directly relate to it. Avoid blending multiple ideas in a single paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect sentences and paragraphs, and create a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
Provide relevant examples to support your main points. Make sure these examples are specific and clearly illustrate the argument you are trying to make.
task achievement
When addressing the advantages and disadvantages, give them equal treatment in terms of development and analysis to achieve a balanced essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on a stronger introduction and conclusion. The introduction should more clearly state the topic and your thesis. The conclusion should effectively summarize the key points without introducing new ideas.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...