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Writing Samples
Band 5

what are the advantages and disadvantages of globalisation?

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The following essay will be discussing the advantages and disadvantages that are linked
around
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to
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globalization
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.
Globalization
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 describes a process
by
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in
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national
Correct pronoun usage
which national
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 and regional economies, societies and cultures have become integrated through the global network of trade, communication, immigration and transportation. Some people say that
globalization
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 is beneficial for the cultural and economic development of the world. Indeed,
globalization
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 has benefits for the economy.
On the
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The
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 main benefit of
globalization
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 for
economy
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the economy
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 is that one company can cooperate with another company on a global scale and increase revenue. An example of
this
Linking Words
,
well known
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well-known
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companies
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such
Linking Words
 as Amazon and Google cooperate globally with other
companies
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. That's why the products produced by these
companies
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 are sold all over the world. An example of how
globalization
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 is useful to the
develop
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development
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 of culture can be given.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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 if
culture
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the culture
a culture
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 of the developed
country
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enter
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enters
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 the culture of the poor
country
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, the developed
country
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 will increase significantly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the disadvantages of
globalization
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 poor working conditions which
occurs
Correct subject-verb agreement
occur
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 more in developing
countries
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 rather than
developed
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in developed
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countries
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. Many multinational
companies
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 hire workers from other
countries
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 for wages. It is useful to the company as their
overall
Linking Words
 costs are lower, their profits will be higher,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 they will have staff which could have
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact in the long term. Another disadvantage of
globalization
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 is that it can create
many
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much
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 unemployment.
Due to
Linking Words
 there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not enough jobs in poor
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countries
Add a comma
,countries
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 the unemployed are moving to other
countries
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as a result
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 the
country
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 is getting poorer.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than disadvantages and I
also
Linking Words
 believe some of the negative aspects of
globalization
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 can be controlled.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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